Brenda would say she saved my life in more than one way – I’d thoroughly agree with that assessment (while using the obligatory eye roll so that she doesn’t get too big for her britches).
But one way in particular sticks out to me. It wasn’t a single moment. She didn’t pull me from a burning car, perform CPR, or take a bullet. It was, nonetheless, a dramatic turnaround in my life.
She helped me with my long game.
Before Brenda, my life was pretty sweet. My average day would start with a “wholesome” breakfast at the local diner -- pancakes and sausage drenched in maple syrup (no doubt made with high fructose corn syrup). I‘d wash that down with Diet Coke (because the local diner didn’t serve Dr Pepper Zero).
Lunch was probably at a sandwich shop – always with two cookies for dessert. They knew me as “the cookie guy” because sometimes I’d just drop in to get two cookies without getting a sandwich. And dinner was wherever my golf buddies wanted to go after the round.
Ok, maybe that’s what it was like on the weekends, and my weekdays were a bit less over-the-top. I was mostly “good” during the week with some eating out sprinkled in here and there. I viewed my weekends as “vacation”, so I did whatever I wanted on those two days (sometimes three days since Friday afternoon/evening might start the weekend off right!).
Looking back on it all (with the benefit of hindsight), my diet was absolutely terrible. My habits were worse. I didn’t sleep well at all. I stayed up past midnight most nights. I ate, drank, and played golf with my buddies on the weekends, and the recovery time from those weekends was getting longer and longer.
I felt bad a lot of days…maybe even most days if I’m being completely honest.
And it’s not as if I intentionally set out to have horrible habits in life (I guess nobody does, though). The funny thing is I actually thought I was doing pretty well.
I had a great job. I enjoyed my time away from work on the weekends. I ate the standard American diet. I walked and worked out, thinking I was combatting my caloric intake appropriately.
I just thought that this was the way of the world. You get older. You get fatter. You get arthritis. You start seeing signs of aging. Your mattress matters more in your late 30s than in your 20s. The 2 pm crash after two cookies? Eh, totally normal.
The thought had honestly never crossed my mind that I might be doing it wrong.
Then enter: MY WIFE.
It was brought to my attention that it had, for sure, crossed BRENDA’S mind that I was very much doing it wrong.
In the early days, I remember thinking she and her dad were borderline nuts. And I’m not joking. To me, they were conspiracy theorists, talking about sugar, carbs, seed oils, and distrust of government health and nutrition policy.
Look, being on the other side of COVID and all of the silliness that was America during the pandemic, I was pretty open-minded about questioning conventional wisdom. But, c’mon. Surely our food supply is the best in the world, being top dog and all, right?!
Well, so much for that line of thinking. I’m way past that now!
I’ll skip a lot of the subsequent details because, even if you’ve made it this far, you may not be ready to go deep into them just yet. And my story isn’t all that interesting anyway.
It’s a story about small changes. It’s a story about being more consistent. It’s a story about compounding over time. Nothing too crazy or fancy, yet I know my life will never be the same.
After changing my nutrition approach, I have more energy. I’m thinking more clearly and have less “fog.” I’m starting to get leaner. I have more work to do, but I see changes.
The more I learn about nutrition and metabolic health, the more fascinated I become by the role our food choices likely play in chronic disease — and by how our food supply got to where it is today.
If you are ready, interested, and have the mental/emotional bandwidth to be open-minded about it, watch “Cholesterol Code”, “The Magic Pill”, “Fat Fiction”, “Healing Humanity” (check their website for updates about showings) and “That Sugar Film.”
The filmmakers, dietitians, doctors, and patients explore these ideas far better than I ever could. These are fascinating people documenting fascinating stories.
That it has taken me 2 years to come around to Brenda’s way of thinking is a testament to my stubbornness. It’s a testament to all of the red-blooded Texans out there who don’t like being told what to do by their loving spouse.
And believe me when I say I’m not perfect with diet and exercise. I’m still reading, learning, and experimenting. But I’m committed to being a little bit better as I learn more.
It’s somewhat of a miracle that I’m at this point. We’re in the middle of a “75 Hard” challenge and she’s shocked that I haven’t had to start over. That I even contemplated agreeing to 75 days straight with no carbs and no sugar was a win in her mind.
I have one heck of a sweet tooth and carb-y sides were always the best parts of my meals. So, I know that if I can make meaningful changes, a lot of people who think they could never change probably can, too.
The hardest part of my 2-year journey was getting this concept through my thick skull: I simply cannot overcome what goes into my mouth by working out harder or walking more. I had no idea how much of a radical change from the standard American diet I really needed in order to start feeling better.
I thought I could have my ice cream after eating my broccoli. I thought I got to celebrate being good during the week by eating what I wanted on the weekend.
One of the biggest lightbulb moments for me was learning that I didn’t have to rely primarily on glucose for energy. By dramatically reducing carbohydrates, my body could produce and use ketones as another source of fuel. I had spent my entire life eating one way and had no idea there was another way my body could operate.
For me, that realization changed everything.
Before that moment, I was floating. I ate what the grocery stores carried. I ate what was on the restaurant’s menu. I didn’t have intention around food - or life. I ate what everyone else around me was eating.
And it’s no wonder that I was getting similar results.
Look around you. It’s sad out there. Our family, friends, and neighbors are struggling with chronic illness. Obesity, type 2 diabetes, insulin resistance, metabolic disease, heart disease, and hypertension are out of control.
And for many people, quality of life suffers long before life itself ends. People struggle to move. They struggle with energy. They struggle with feeling good.
One of the documentaries we recently watched explored the potential connection between nutrition and mental health, including conditions like anxiety, depression, and bipolar disorder. That’s absolutely mind-blowing to me.
What if more of these chronic diseases are avoidable than we think? I’m not saying definitively that they are. I’m just asking you to consider that nutrition may play a much bigger role in our health than many of us have been led to believe.
The more I lean into this, the more convinced I become that diet and metabolic health deserve a much bigger place in our conversations about chronic disease and healthcare costs. At the very least, it has forced me to look much more closely at what I was doing to my own body every day.
I believe I was headed down a path of chronic disease. I had bad habits, bad nutrition, and, above all, I was totally in denial about how much control I had over my own health. I was oblivious to the now-obvious fact that I was the real problem.
The simple truth that I’m (still) learning is this: I don’t have to be on a sugar roller coaster. I don’t have to automatically accept feeling worse every year as the inevitable price of getting older.
I believe most of us have another way of approaching how we age. We can choose habits that support health and vitality. We can stay active, play with our (grand)kids, and we can travel. We can have the energy to enjoy the life we’ve worked so hard to build.
But we have to take responsibility for our own health.
That responsibility doesn’t belong to “the healthcare system,” “the government,” or “big corporations.” They may influence the environment around us, but they don’t hold the keys to our health.
We do.
That doesn’t mean we can control everything that happens to our bodies. Of course we can’t. But we can control an awful lot of what we do to it every single day.
It may seem like I’m saying silly little platitudes like “you are what you eat.”
You could look at it that way. A more optimistic view of it is that I’m trying to get you to question some assumptions, much like Brenda finally got me to question mine.
And one of the diseases I’ve mentioned may get me. I’ve had “a lifetime of bad habits” as Brenda’s dad is fond of saying (about other people since he’s kind enough to make it a general thought). But I’m trying my best to turn the ship. I’m eagerly reading, learning, and experimenting as we go.
Brenda didn’t save my life in an instant. It happened over time.
She was consistent. She was persistent. She was not judgmental, but she didn’t sugarcoat it, either.
Unfortunately, she doesn’t sugarcoat anything these days. And that’s OK – I’m finally on board with a sugar-free approach.
And I feel fantastic.
This blog post reflects my personal experience and opinions related to those experiences. It isn't intended as medical advice. Talk with your healthcare provider about decisions regarding your health or diet.
